Best Best Jokes: 2012

Wednesday, 27 June 2012

Near death experience

middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said: "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
She got out of the hospital after the last operation, and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded: "I thought you said I had another 43 years?"

“Sorry,” God replied: "I didn't recognize you."

Watch For Fallen Rocks

Driving down a remote road, a motorist sees a sign that says: "Watch For Fallen Rocks."
A couple of miles of careful driving later, he spots some pebbles and stops to pick a few up. Arriving in the next town, the motorist carries the stones into the highway maintenance office.

Placing them on the counter, he says to an official: "Here are your fallen rocks. Now where's my watch?"

confess

A man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his priest.
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” he said. “During World War II, I hid a refugee in my attic."
"Well," said the priest.

"That's not a sin."

"But I made him agree to pay me $20 for every week he stayed," the man explained.
"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause," the priest replied.
"Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind,” the man said. “I have one more question, though."
"What is that, my son?" the priest inquired.

"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"

Friday, 22 June 2012

Jo Shakhs bazar mein Chalty huway (BestBestJokes.blogspot.com)

Jo Shakhs bazar mein Chalty huway
in Alfaz ka kasrat se wird kary ga,
INSHaAllah Wo mala maal ho jaye ga,
..
..
..
..
“Allah k Naam pe de de BaBa”

Kabhi Pasand Na Aye Sath (BestBestJokes.blogspot.com)

Kabhi Pasand Na Aye Sath
Mera To Bata Dena Ae Dost
.
.
.
Hum Dil Pe Pathar Rakh K
Tumhein Goli Maar Dengay
(‘.’)___.=—
/)_)
_/?/_
Thaa Thaa. Ab Na Kro Humein
Pasand Phir Pata Chalta Hai.

1 Admin ko Charagh mila (BestBestJokes.blogspot.com)

1 Admin ko Charagh mila Us ne
ussy Ragra to dhamaka huwa aur
wo mar gaya.
Moral:
“Kuch Cheezain Alladin ki nahi.
Mujahideen ki bhi ho Sakti hain..

Cafe main Papu Ny (BestBestJokes.blogspot.com)

Cafe main Papu Ny 1 lrki Ko
“I Love You” Kaha…
Lrki ny Zor Sy thapar mara
OR
Boli…
Kya kaha??
PaPu:
Kutttyy Jb Suna nahi Too Thapar
Q mara.?

What is the Colour of Frequency (BestBestJokes.blogspot.com)

What is the Colour of Frequency?
Ans: Purple
How?
Frequency=1/time
means 1/sec
1sec = Ek Pal
1/Pal= Per Pal
Per Pal= PURPLE..!
PHYSICS hila kar rakhdi.

O teri khair..(BestBestJokes.blogspot.com)

Son:Mai School Nhi jaonga..
Mom:Kyn?
Son:Job Kronga..
Mom:4th Class par kr Kya Kaam
kro Gy?
Son:3rd Class Ki Lrkion Ko tution
Prhaonga….

O teri khair..

Height of Friendship (BestBestJokes.blogspot.com)

‘”Height of Friendship:
.
.
Santa committing suicide,
Someone asked the reason.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
He said: My wife ran with my friend
And
I can’t live without my friend.”‘

Darakht pr 6 prinday (BestBestJokes.blogspot.com)

Darakht pr 6 prinday bethay thay.
Shikari ne dekha Or unn pr fire kia.
5 prinday urr gye.
1 betha rha.
.
kioun?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Bus
.
.
.
.
Badmashi

Decent Dua (BestBestJokes.blogspot.com)

Teri zindagi me koi gham na ho
teri khushi kbhi kam na ho
dua hay tujhe mile ek pyara sa duolha/Dulhen
,
jis ka wazan
80 kilo se
kam na ho
(BOLO BOLO ‘AMEEEENN.)

Mjhse Wo Kehti hy k Tumhari(BestBestJokes.blogspot.com)

Mjhse Wo Kehti hy k Tumhari
Zindgi ko Jannat Bna Dongi.
.
Or Bnani Usko ‘Daal’b Nahi
Aati.
(‘,’)
<))> Confidance
//_ Dakh bachi ka
Aik AnnAr Soo BiMaRR..

1 Girl Coke pi rahi thi (BestBestJokes.blogspot.com)

’1 Girl Coke pi rahi thi
k achank us me se 1 machhr nikla
oR Bola “MAA”
Girl: main teri “MAA” nhi hun
Machhr: aisa na bol MAA
main teri “coke” se nikla hun..’

SUPER GHAZAL. (BestBestJokes.blogspot.com)

SUPER GHAZAL.
Ek chadar ko rah-e- mehbob main bicha dena,
Main mar jaon to usay mera kafan bana dena,
Boht rouy ga mujhe dekh dekh kr wo shakhs,
Is liye dair na lagana mujhe jaldi dafna dena,
Lagana ek poda meri qabar k serhanay,

Mujh par ek ehsaan krna (BestBestJokes.blogspot.com))

VEER
Jahan bhi msg krunga 5-10 msg ek sath bhej dunga
WANTED
Ek Baar Jo Mene “SMS” Krna Shuru Kr Diya TO
Uske baad to Mai Apne “BALANCE” Ki Bhi Nhi sochta..
DABBANG
Hum tumhare mobile me itne SMS krenge ki
confuse ho jaoge k padhe konsa or konsa delete kre.
READY
Duniya me tumhe sab se zyada msg sirf 3 log karenge:
I, me, and myself..
BODY-GUARD
Mujh par ek ehsaan krna mere msg mujhe send mat krna..

Ek din mili wo mujhse (BestBestJokes.blogspot.com)

Ek din mili wo mujhse,
Bujhi Bujhi si,
Jhuki jhuki si,
Udasiyon main Rachi basi si,
Jo maine pocha !!
Udaas q ho ?
Itni pareshan q ho ?
,
.
Jhuka k palkain
Chupa k chehra
Galay se lag k
Ro ro k thak k
Lagi wo kehne
itna romantic msg likha tha
lover ko,
abbu k number par chala gaya

When Words Are Not Enough To Express (BestBestJokes.blogspot.com)

When Words Are Not Enough To Express Your Feelings Dont Think That You Are In Love.

It Means That You Need To Improve Your Vocabulary

What will a guy sing (BestBestJokes.blogspot.com)

What will a guy sing after he gets a proposal from a rich girl?

Agar tum mil jao “Kamana chor denge hum!

PATHAN ko exam (BestBestJokes.blogspot.com)

PATHAN ko exam men koi sawal nahi ata tha. usnay her sawal k neechay llllllllllllllllllllllllllll is tarah lines lgaeen or likha. Scratch karo Answer parho.

1 memon ne arbi ko khoon dey (BestBestJokes.blogspot.com)

1 memon ne arbi ko khoon dey k uski jaan bachai.
Arbi ne usay MERCEDES gift kardi.
Arbi ko phir khoon ki zarorut pari,
Memon ne phir khoon dia.
Ab k bar Arbi ne till waly laddu gift kiye,
Memon:Ghusse se, mercedez kion nahi di?
Arbi:Munna…!!
Ab hamarey ander bhi memono ka khoon dor raha hay

Best Best Jokes